Love, Conversating & Concreteness

20 Feb

Love, conversating & concreteness

Good morning everyone,

Let’s start the day with a poem I wrote for my niece a year ago. Happy 1st Birthday my darling  – with all my love:


Today is the day to be grateful

Today is the day to feel loved


Today is the day in which everything changes

Even if all stays the same, today, you’ll see it with different eyes


Today is the day in which miracles happen

Created by love, they bring home peace


Today is the day when all comes together

Fitting, like perfect pieces

It brought us here and gave us new places to go


Today is the day to be grateful

Today is the day to feel loved


Today is a day, just like any other day


This is one of the most heartfelt poems I ever wrote for the birth of this little miracle. They say children change you, of course they do. They can turn young women into loving mothers and strong men into caring fathers. Even though she is not my child and I will never truly understand the impact of a child in your life until I have my own, she definitely changed me too. She released in me a new form of love, which I hadn’t experienced before but which I now cannot stop feeling. It is an unconditional dedicated love, so deep, so pure with no if’s or but’s to cloud it. And now, I discover I can feel this way about other people in my life, even about strangers when I spot them in a single moment of pure kindness. It is a love combined with true faith, which leaves no room for fear. It is a kind of love of which I hope everyone can experience it at some point in their lives. And I hope I can be strong enough to be open for it, and to find it on my path, in myself and in other people for the rest of my life.

Good morning.

Having this said let’s have a look at the past two weeks. Time is being a very strange concept for me lately. I do not know who ever came up with the idea that time is being constant and that every minutes today is just as long as every minute yesterday. Today, exactly two weeks ago feels so much longer ago than it time wise truly should be.  The day’s feel longer, even though I have more work to do there seems to be more time available. I am truly convinced I can do more in an hour today than I could do in the same hour a month ago. Okay, this might sound all a bit vague to you. If there is anyone thinking: “What the hell is she talking about?”. Just realise this is also a part of me, which I do not show to others very often but today I felt like sharing. Coming back to the point, a week ago I published ‘Nakedness and Shower-Stories’. Did you read it? It is a little exposing but it was a lot of fun writing it ;).

So to the tasks of card 24:

*These weeks talk with neighbours, colleagues or other people with whom you normally do not speak.

** Take a vague plan, make it concrete and start it!

Why it should be called: ‘to conversate’

Now don’t get me wrong, I know that ‘conversating’ isn’t an actual word.  Apparently the people who ever came up with the English language thought you could only have a conversation, or being part of a conversation. They didn’t think that there should be a verb for the action of having a conversation: ‘to conversate’. I think conversating with someone is far more than just talking and listening to someone. You can talk and listen to a tree, it seems to me that that is not having a conversation, unless the tree talks back and gives you valid points of view but in that case the difference between talking and conversating will probably be least of your problems.

I am drifting again, it felt like a good morning for drifting, I am sorry if you do not appreciate it. The point I am trying to make here is that I had talked with my colleagues before but with some of them that was all I had done. Over the past two weeks I had a true conversation with one particular colleague of mine and the effect it had on me was quite amazing. One of my travel guides told me the British are the king’s and queens of small talk and I must admit I have found they truly have several layers of small talk they participate in. I found myself together with this colleague in the midst of ‘conversating’ far beyond any form of small talk. It felt great, like she allowed me to see a little piece of herself, which up until now had been completely hidden from me. It immediately increased my fondness of her and made me leave work that day with a content feeling of happiness.

Conclusion: I want to introduce the verb ‘to conversate’ in my life from now on and make sure I choose in which moments I want to participate in small talk and in which wants I want to have a conversation.

The beauty of concreteness

Last week I told you I wanted to make the plans of my book more concrete. I will tell you right now that unfortunately did not happen. However, other vague plans were turned concrete and started. One of the biggest one is a presentation I am helping my boss with for a big company. They asked us to prepare a mindfulness teaser, a little introduction into mindfulness in about a four-hour timeframe for their employees. It has to be finished next week and I am being quite busy with it. It has turned very concrete with specific tasks I should do and we are getting there very structured. It is nice to have a concrete project to work with again.

I also introduced the concept of concreteness in the preparation of my interview for my master application of next week. I bought a new book: Positive Psychology in a Nutshell  by Ilona Boniwell something, and I truly love it. I read it every night and I am thinking about questions I would like to research since they will ask about that.

Last but most certainly not least I started a course in psychology and spirituality with meditation and our task for this week is to write down all the moments in which our past experiences, expectations, beliefs and values influences our behaviour. Basically always of course. But the true difficulty lays in which concrete concepts influences our behaviour in which concrete situation. It’s a very interesting and difficult task asking us to honestly look at what we are doing.

Conclusion: concreteness is a friend – it gives me a sense of purpose and achievement.

Now to the exciting new card:

Task 49:

These weeks, pay extra attention if there is someone you can help. Just help.

Doing good makes you feel good. That is generally known. So let’s see who I can help in the next two weeks 🙂

Task 50:

What is it you are holding back for a long time? Search for someone to talk about it. Now.

Another question of honestly looking at myself. This task is very personal and I need to go deep. Finding someone to talk about it, good thing I am surrounded by psychologists :). Let’s see how this task develops.

Alright, I am done drifting of and therefore this post is now coming to an end. I hope you enjoyed reading it!

With all my love,


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