Offering a helping hand and releasing inner fears

6 Mar

offering a helping hand and releasing inner fears

Good morning my dearest people of the world,

The days are getting brighter, the sun is peaking through my curtains in the early hours spreading a warm light in my bedroom that just makes me want to jump out of bed and start the day. While I am writing this, three lovely young women are sleeping in the living room and that together with the birds in the background whistling their stories a sense of peace surrounds me.

Its been two weeks, only just two weeks and I feel a year has past since the last time I wrote. Somehow the time seems fast and slow at the same time so now I am happy to sit down and reflect for a moment.

My lovely tasks for the past two weeks card 25:

 *These weeks, pay extra attention if there is someone you can help. Just help.

**What is it you are holding back for a long time? Search for someone to talk about it. Now.

The helping hand

I thought about this task a lot. It seemed very easy so I wanted to make some big gesture to someone and truly helping them, that didn’t work out but I did end up helping quite some people in the end.

I think the person I helped the most was my boss. We are giving a mindfulness teaser to a big company next week, explaining about mindfulness and doing some exercises with them. We talk about how we can practise mindfulness in our every day busy lives and what the scientifically proven benefits are that come from practising mindfulness. So, if you have any questions, at the moment I am very well informed. I designed, created and shaped the presentation for this four-hour teaser, which I am quite proud of and what took up both of the last weekends. This is definitely my biggest helping hand in the last two weeks.

The most curious situation in which I helped a person was the following case, since this person did not realised I helped her at all: I park my bike near the traffic-lights for pedestrians in between the tube station and Stratford centre. Unfortunately my bike broke down so I cannot bike all the way to work any more but I can bike until the station. Sometimes after work I need to get some groceries before going home, in those cases I use the traffic-lights and cross the road, go to the supermarket and then hop on my bike to get home. I did exactly this the other day, but it was a very late evening and not much people were out and about. As I walked out of Stratford centre I noticed a young women standing next to the traffic lights waiting for the lights to switch to green so she could cross. These lights usually turn green every minutes or so, if someone has pressed the button. After a couple of minutes this girl was still standing there because the lights had not switched and I saw that nobody had pressed the button. So I walked over there and pressed the button for her before walking to my bike, which is parked at the same side of the street so I do not need to cross the road. I made sure the lights switched for this lady, without her realising that I had just helped her and it made me smile inside wondering if this act could be seen as true altruistic since she did not know I helped her. This was my most unnoticeable helping hand.

I also helped a girl with questions about doing psychology within the UCM curriculum and chances for entering Master programs afterwards. I wrote her a long message with answers to her questions which I think was definitely my most useful helping hand.

I started to wonder just know, if I share information for the mere pleasure of sharing and the enthusiasm about the topic but I provide the listener with helpful information without my direct attend of doing so, does this act count as helping someone? If this is so, what about all these times I do this without meaning to, what if my presents helps to cheer somebody up or somebody uses me as an example to show that you should follow what you believe in. (Alright, I do not want to praise myself too high, but people have actually said this to me. To be fair being modest is my weakest characteristic out of a list of 25 characteristics. I recently did a test ;)) Anyway, concluding question: is the intention of helping a necessary component of helping? If yes, how do we call all these moments in which we unintentionally help someone and what about those moments in which we intent to help but people do not find it helpful? If no, doesn’t that mean we help people all the time just by being and if that is the case we can never truly realise the full extent to which we help people, wouldn’t that be altruism?

I hear a philosophical debate coming up, who is in? 🙂

Release your inner fears

I actually thought about looking for a therapist/psychologist. However, living in England now, that only gets paid by insurance if you go via the NHS, which means that you have to be diagnosed with severe depression, schizophrenia or some other sort of mental disorder (in how far it is correct to do such a thing is a debate I gladly talk about but I will leave out in this post for now). Since I do not fall within any of these categories so severely that the NHS would think it would be necessary for me to go in therapy, the only option would be to go as a self-funding client. Now, since I work in a private practise I know how much these sessions cost and that is way above my pay grade. So in the end I had a little meltdown and wrote an email to a very close friend about my inner fears, which I had been holding back for a long time. Her basic reaction was it only made her love me more, which brought tears to my eyes and warmth to my hearth. She gave me some useful advice and I felt very relieved for having shared this inner fear I had been walking around with for so long. I can definitely recommend it.

So, let’s see what the next two weeks are going to bring me:

Task 51:

These weeks greet the people you meet.

Haha, I can so see myself greet every single person I meet on the streets, living in a city like London this is going to be just one big hallo for two weeks. Haha, alright, I will just pick my moments wisely.

Task 52:

Which changes in your life are you resisting? Try to look at the positive things that come along with this change and take a step towards this change.

Remember that test I talked before about finding my strong characteristics. My top strength was gratitude, closely follows by optimism and zest (being full of life energy and enthusiasm). Basically I am a walking sunshine, which change would I ever resist? (I am sure my modesty is lost in translation ;)) No, of course I am resisting one change or another, this is a nice moment to self-reflect and see what that is.

Hope you all enjoyed my post! I certainly enjoyed writing it!

Have the loveliest day,



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