Week 13: In need of a positive message

6 Jun

Week 13

Week 13. I do not actually believe in the number 13 being bad luck. In fact one of the first people I ever called friend was born on Friday the 13th of February and since then this day could not be bad luck for me anymore. Funny, because in general I am a believer in lot’s of other stuff, but mostly I believe in things being good instead of things being bad and unlucky. Maybe I am just a hypocrite because I only want to see the good stuff or maybe I just avoid the stuff of which I think they might have a negative consequence unconsciously. Well, whatever way it is I had to come to the conclusion that this week was the worst week I have had since I started this blog.

I was confronted with some very old pain and sorrow that it was afraid to face and to let go of. I was fighting to let it go, forcing myself to release because I did not wanted to feel the pain and the sorrow. Of course forcing myself to release something is a contradicting in itself and therefore did also not work. Resulting in my own pure exhausting and being annoyed by everyone (mostly myself) and then also ending up annoying everyone around me. Not such a successful week as you might imagine. But somewhere in this exhausting I was able to let go, maybe I was just so worn out that I could no longer hold on. I somehow managed to accept; at least I think it did. I worked really hard the last couple of days to deal with it in a way I never did before. I think I did let it go and probably I am still letting it go. Anyhow, I feel much better but also still exhausted and recovering as if I just had some heavy treatment. So this week is graded as a 5 out of 10, because it was the toughest week yet and it did not feel good at all. Which is okay. We all have better days and worse ones. And without the dark, how could we recognize the light?

Task 25:

Hold back your criticism and turn them into a positive message

Yeah well, since it was a difficult week I was mostly just annoyed and did not criticize people. I even called my mom on purpose and wanted to hold back my criticism, but the criticism did not really arise so we just had a nice conversation. I was annoyed by myself, very very much. But being annoyed and being critical is not really the same thing. I still try to turn it in a positive message but towards yourself I always find that more difficult. Maybe it was also just my mood that did not work this week. Well, in the end I did my best and I will keep trying to hold back my criticism and be positive about it.

Task 26:

Buy a notebook and plan your work every day of the week. Follow a scheme.

As I said last week: I cannot really live without my calendar. Although it is getting much better. Since I have officially nothing much to do except waiting for my data and the weather finally turned towards summer I gave myself a couple of days of and I have been doing nothing. First I was annoyed by the fact that I was not doing anything useful this weekend and now I just realized that I just need a couple of days of and I am enjoying it to the fullest. So feel honored because you just stepped in right into my holiday because this post is the only thing I did wanted to do. Although I am a day late, again. Well, I just have to deal with it and you should to and go out and enjoy the sun.

Well, I can already pick a card so you probably do not have to wait too long for my next tasks. 🙂

A of course the small update about my other tasks:
  • Task 4: Change three things in the upcoming three months:
    • Feel secure about your body, to reach this go do sports 3 times a week: Sinc this week was bad in general, this also did not work out at all. I did went jogging once but it didn’t help and I did not feel comfortable with myself at all. 🙁 Well, I did except it better then normally and even went out in a jogging trousers once (something I would have never done a couple of weeks before)
    • Feel confident towards men: since all my energy was being busy trying to control and solve my pain and sorrow I could not focus on this and I actually noticed it got real bad for a day or two. No wonder, when I am trying so hard dealing with one part of myself I cannot really focus on this part. So nothing good to tell here either. 🙁
    • Write my book: nope did not do this either since I can only write when doing good and being inspired which both did not work this week.
  • Task 6:
    • Listen to two people you normally do not listen to: maybe I should start listening to myself cause that did not really seem to work either.
  • Task 10:
    • grade your week: did that above! Check!
  • Task 12:
    • Show, act and believe that love is easy. Love just is: same as with my other task. I put all my energy on this one problem this week and it messed up everything else. So this did not go in a good direction either, unfortunately.
  • Task 18:
    • Write down your dreams: I don’t really remember again. Should try harder, maybe.

Well, that is it. I hope you all had a better week then I did and may the next one be sunny and lovely!

Lot’s of Love,

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2 Responses to “Week 13: In need of a positive message”

  1. Jelle June 10, 2013 at 09:23 #

    I don’t think you’re a hypocrite. Reality is subjective anyway, so why not choose to experience life the way that serves you? 😉 Good job on not criticising your mother. Can be tough at times, I know all about it! Let’s hope this week will be better! 🙂

    • Anne-Sophie Sloet van Oldruitenborgh June 19, 2013 at 20:47 #

      Hey Jelle!
      Thank you for your reply. Not criticizing my mom is getting easier now I started focussing on it. It is very nice! Results in a much better atmosphere between us. 🙂