Week 13: Task 25 & 26

1 Jun

Week 13

*Hold back your criticism and turn them into a positive message

**Buy a notebook and plan your work every day of the week. Follow a scheme.

Yes, well, a day too late, actually two now. Not so cool. It has been some busy days. I send out around 1500 letters, in two days. It is brain killing work cause you literally cannot think while doing this work.

Task 25: Criticism.

That is something we are all familiar with. I remember a conversation I had last year with one of my board members who stated he would like to hear some more criticism from us. Basically he criticized us or especially me about not criticizing. Indicating that we weren’t critical enough. So maybe I am not so good at being critical or maybe he just wanted us to be more critical then we already were. In either case I could then have turned my criticism in a positive message and I am trying to do that this week. One of my best friends told me the difference between demanding that someone does something and suggesting how someone could do something. In it’s essence it is just a matter of phrasing however it can make a lot of difference. I think a positive message is always a suggestion and never really a demand. So let’s suggest things this week!

I also know to which situation I want to apply this. I have been very critical towards my mom lately. Mostly, this comes forward out of the fact that I am worried about her and of course just wants the best for her. But everybody has their own way of what is best for them, so so does she. I will pay special attention to holding back my criticism towards her and to try to turn it into a positive message. I hope it helps.

Task 26: The notebook

Yes, great movie that is. And has completely nothing to do with this topic. Funny when I first read this task my head just said, yeah well that is just a calendar. I cannot live without my calendar! The same friend just mentioned pointed out I am an absolute and total control freak. When I told her that I really like to do spontaneous things she told me: ‘true but even those you plan’. Funny thing is, she is completely right. I do not like to be out of control unless I feel totally and completely safe. Which doesn’t happen quite that much in company of others. The thing is, I do not really feel like I want to be in control that much, I also had not yet noticed it disturbs me when I do not have control. But now I realize it has to do with the kind of control I want. The control I want is the control over my mind, the control to realize what I think and feel and how I want to react to these thoughts and feelings. This is the control I seek for everywhere. Simply said I am a control freak in being mindful. Which is also the thing you are the most in control of and under normal circumstances you can always be in control off. Because being mindful and being in control of that means you realize what you are thinking and what you are feeling and you accept that. Basically you accept that you cannot be in control of your thoughts and your emotions and you accept that. But you put a mindful process in between those thoughts and emotions to decide for yourself how you want to act on those. So you do not control what is, what was or what will be, if you succeed you manage to accept all that, but you control how you act on it. I hope I mange to explain this because it is a little more difficult to put it into words then I thought.

So how does this relate to planning and the notebook. Well, planning helps me to be more mindful, because I then do not need to worry about other things I still need to do. Therefore I like to plan. What confuses me about this task is the ‘follow a scheme’ part. What is mend by that? What kind of scheme? Should I just plan my days everyday in the same way? As in, in the morning I work on my thesis and in the afternoon I work on my book? Or in the way of every Monday I start with a coffee at the Coffeelovers and in the evening I do groceries? I do not really like either of those even though there is a certain scheme I do follow:

  • Every morning I get up between 7:00 and 8:00 without an alarm. I never use an alarm clock unless I have to leave the house before 9:00 and then I only do it as an insurance.
  • I take a shower, get dressed, I have breakfast, I brush my teeth and I mediate if I have and take the time.
  • Then my day starts and I do whatever I want to do. Go to uni or work or go to the Coffeelovers to write.
  • At some point I return home, but that is also not planned because it depends on whether we stay late at uni, we go for a quick bite somewhere or for drinks or whatever.
  • Then around 24:00 I go to bed and the same thing starts again.

This is the scheme I follow and which works for me most days. It get’s a bit tricky when I go to bed a couple of hours later because I still wake up between 7:00 and 8:00 and cannot continue to sleep. So sometimes it happens I have only slept a couple of hours, which results in a very interesting day. So, I will not bore you with the plan of the upcoming week totally mapped out. I can tell you next week though. What I actually planned and what I did.

Even though it was a little too late, I hope you still enjoy it all. Have a great weekend and good luck next week with all the exams and deadlines!



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